9/30: People

So this writing every day has become quite tiring! I'm a couple days behind but here's post 9. 

 

9/30: List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.

1.      My husband. Gosh, how has he NOT? He constantly believes in me and thinks I’m smart, beautiful, funny, giving, and loving even when I think I’m not. He never puts me down and he helps me achieve my dreams. Whether it’s religious, academic, socially, emotionally, or independent choices he’s always behind me 100%; and that always makes me feel confident in what I do in life. He’s always complimenting me and is my biggest fan.

2.      My son. He’s changed my life completely and thanks to him I’m trying to be a better mommy. He influences me just by being my son to be more out-going and social for his sake. I want to be a better person because I’m his mommy.

3.      My mom. I’m pretty sure I got to where I am because of her. Going to church, seminary, and doing well in general wasn’t an option and certain things were just expected growing up. And I’m grateful for that. She never doubted I couldn’t go to college or accomplish things in life. A lot of the things I do are because of the way I was raised and by watching her example.

4.      My grandad. When I was a teenager he would always be bringing me a new book. During the summer it seemed like I was getting a new book from him a week. I look fondly back at that and am so grateful he did, because I think that’s where I developed my love for reading.

5.      My high school English teacher. 100% of the way she influenced me and instilled in me the love for English. She was caring about her students and English and all 4 years were a joy and definitely had an impact on my future.

6.      My in-laws. I watch them and appreciate the example they instill on me as a couple. Their example helps me envision the kind of relationship I want to carry forth with my husband. They’ve influenced my life tremendously by having my husband. If they had never had him then I wouldn’t have the life I have now. :)

7.      My cousin. When I was in 9^th grade I hung out with a pretty rough and rowdy crowd. They started to do things I didn’t (drink, smoke, sex, party) and I found myself feeling more and more distant from the group. I had a cousin who hung around with me too. There was another group that we weren’t a part of, but that’s where all the popular, fun, and LDS kids hung out at. You know how “clicky” group can be, but one day my cousins like “Let’s just go over there it only takes one time and we’re in.” So with her lead we went over there. If it weren’t for her bravery I may have never gotten to be a part of the group where I truly belonged and fit in. I had the most fun with those people and have her to thank.

8.      My young women leaders. Little did they know they were having such a huge impact on me. They instilled in me the importance of a temple marriage and staying worthy and righteous. Perhaps the lessons and words get repetitive, but it really sunk into me and helped me reach my goals.

9.      My sewing instructors. I went from having a fear of a straight stitch to creating entire garments, quilts, curtains, etc. I’m thankful for their confidence in me and their patient lessons.

10. My friends. I had to say “friends” because there have been so many throughout my life that have impacted me. From those years of having no one but that one best friend to being included and feeling wanted. Friends have had such an influence on me and have just always made an impact on what kind of day I was having. I’m grateful for those friends who took the time to throw me a birthday party, invite me on that girls night out, or take the time to listen when I needed a shoulder.

Chocoholic in the making

So...there's this thing called grandparents...And sometimes they like to send our son candy. Like...for Easter. And sometimes your son is just so adorable that you just wanna give him the candy and see what happens. I guess that's why the grandparents send him candy...cause he's adorable. Needless to say he loved the chocolate. This is Robby...and the makings of a chocoholic.

Yummy.

8/30: Passions

8/30: What are 5 passions you have?

There are a lot of things I’m passionate about so it was hard to choose. But here’s my list. I kind of feel like things are starting to over-lap at this point. But the things that are the most important to me are kind of the same things that make me happy and are kind of the same things I’m passionate about.

1.       My family. No brainer right? But dang. I am so passionate about family and spending time as a family and just being together. I love my family like crazy and if I had it my way we’d all live on the same street! I can never get enough family time. Family is the whole reason we’re here.

2.       The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I tend to be kind of reserved about my religion. I’m not the type of person who preaches to others and is bold and boisterous regarding it, but I do have passion and am passionate about my religion. I respect and believe the principles to be true. I love what it teaches and what it does for me in my life. And I’m proud, thankful, and blessed to be a member of this church.  

3.       Health and fitness. I’m slowly becoming passionate about taking care of our bodies and finding ways to improve. This past month I’ve spent a lot of time finding healthy meals or health alternatives to feed my family, and though I’m not a chef I really enjoy finding new, yummy, and healthy recipes to feed my family. I’m really starting to get passionate about working out again and feeling the strength it gives me. There is certainly something to be said about our bodies being temples and they are what we make them.

4.       Sewing, crafts, and creating things. Thanks to pinterest I have become an avid sewer and crafter. I love the high and accomplishment I get once I have created something; it’s quite addicting. I love being able to stand back and say “I made this.” It brings me a lot of happiness to make things around my home instead of just buying them, and most of the time it saves me more money to make it!

5.       Music. This one’s another repeat but I can’t tell you how much music means to me. I’m not that musically inclined, I mean I can kinda play the piano and I’m not tone deaf by any means, but I’m so incredibly passionate about what music does for a person. Music has always tugged at my heartstrings (get it…heart strings…like strings on a guitar…music…eh?? eh??) and I’ve always been very emotional and moved by music. Since I was a teenager I can remember sitting in church and tearing up over a song we were singing. You can feel the spirit and the emotion in a song and it always gets to me. Music has always been an outlet to find peace and comfort when I’m feeling down or having a rough time. As soon as the instruments begin and the words fill my ears I just feel better, and whole again. That may all sound a bit corny but it’s the only way I can describe it. Music gets to me in a way that heals and uplifts at times.

Apartment tour

So as I promised I DID do an apartment tour! I'm not the best with the camera and I'm kind of awkward but at least you get to see where we live! I sure like living here and if it weren't so daaaang hot it'd be perfect. Enjoy!

And as you can see I'm SO awesome that I hit the button to turn off the recording before I was even done. What I was gonna say is if anyone has any recommendations for ways I could decorate or ways I could improve my blog I would LOVE to hear from you! I really want to try and make this more than just a boring hum drum blog about my every day life.

7/30: Dream Job

7/30: What is your dream job, and why?

Obviously I can’t pick just ONE thing that would be my dream job. If you’re confused where all of this is coming from tune in from here to find out what all this is about. I hope this gal appreciates all the publicity I give her.

1.       A writer. I love to write and I did kind of get my degree in professional writing. I would love to write and sell books. I’m working on a book as we speak, but whether or not it will ever get done is another story. Actually I have 3-4 ideas but I just don’t know if I posses enough creativity and fire to actually write enough to consist of a book; we’re talking 200 pages or more to make it ya know, rather impressive and what not.

2.       An ultrasound tech. Seriously? What is more awesome than getting to look at cute in utero babies? And watching parents light up when they see their wee ones? I know sometimes there are downers to this job, like presenting bad news, but ever since I was pregnant I just thought it was so interesting and awesome. I’ve even thought of going back to school to be certified as one.

3.       An English teacher. You should have guessed that one was coming right? I mean…I majored in an English degree for crying out loud! I would have done my degree in English education, but that required 12 credits of a foreign language. Umm I don’t think so. I would love to be a High School English teacher and just talk about and teach English all day.


Next post: Video tour of our new place (finally!)

6/30: Hard things

6/30: What Is The Hardest Thing You Have Ever Experienced?

Instantly I knew what I was going to write about. I hope this day’s post doesn’t make people roll their eyes or feel like I’m a whiner. Because honestly THE hardest thing I’ve ever experienced is something I’ve shared again…and again…and it’s probably become pretty repetitive but it’s something I’m still trying to process and work through. So I apologize in advance if this annoys you or doesn’t suit to your liking. Get over it. It’s my experience not yours.

With that prelude out of the way I do know what I wanted to write about…But then I started to think if there was truly anything else I’d ever experienced that was harder. Not having my parents at my wedding was pretty rough, and though it did take something away from me I still got married and I still have my parents in my life. I also for a split second thought about when I had to leave my sweet heart before we got married. He was staying in Idaho and I had to drive 12 hours to home. That was THE hardest drive of my life! I’m pretty sure I bawled the entire drive home and it was so incredibly lonesome and hard to leave him. I think my sister-in-law Kristen can vouch for that, since she had to drive 4 of the 12 hours with me. I must’ve looked like a bafoon. Even those tough times don’t trump the hardest thing I’ve ever had to experience. And I know this is the hardest because I’m still not over it.

My Induction and C-Section is the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced.

When you’re as big and as miserable as I was at 39 weeks I went in very desperate for some sort of relief and salvation. The only thing is induction was like hell on earth rather than my saving grace. I’ve never gone through so much pain and chaos in all my life. I do not wish induction on even my worst enemy. Seriously. With that and all the interventions came an emergency c-section. The c-section itself wasn’t really that bad; other than not getting to hold and bond with my baby right away. It was the after mass. It got infected. I seriously have never experienced anything worse than having a part of me that is trying to heal be infected. To have the very core of me sliced open and then get infected hurt like hell. To have Dr’s digging deep into the infected pocket to prevent me from having to be in the hospital again not only stressed and frightened me but it was bloody torture. It hurt and I cried and it seemed no one cared. You know…they’re the Dr’s and they’re just trying to help me. Pff. To this day I can’t shake what I experienced. The infection just made me reflect on everything that happen to me and just made me that much more bitter and upset. It sucked.

No one ever warned me that induction would increase my risk of a c-section by 50%.

 No one ever warned me that all the interventions that would more than likely ensue would increase the probability that I would be hauled off to have my baby un-naturally sliced out of my body.

Never did I imagine after my baby was born that my husband would have to do wound care for over 2 weeks just to reduce the amount of appointments we had to go to. He got to be the lucky one to pull the smelly gauze from the pocket and put more in.

Never did I imagine I’d experience such heart break over having a c-section.

Having major abdomen surgery is a big deal, and then you add infection on top of that, and then trying desperately to take care of yourself and your helpless in need of your love, care, and attention newborn is rough. My mom has more than once told me this isn’t how it’s suppose to be, having a newborn isn’t this bad. I hope in the future I get to understand how easy recovery should be. We didn’t get an easy start, but we’re doing okay now, for the most part. I’m still broken inside and still lay in bed crying at night thinking of everything that went wrong and how much it effects ALL my motherly birthing decisions from here on out. I may be destined for c-sections because of that one little 5 inch slice. But I hope not. 

The indentation where it got infected. It's hollow and will forever be there as a reminder.

 It hurt and still rocks me to the core. If you can’t tell I’m not a big advocate for c-sections, and am going to fight like mad to get a VBAC. You could not pay me enough to do another c-section. I’m hoping that someday when I’m able to birth the way I was meant to birth I’ll be able to cover over the painful wound and memories of my c-section. I’m thankful that my son was born healthy and perfect in every way. But to this day I cease to think “what if?” What if I would have just waited a little longer? Would he have come naturally? I know he was 9lbs but honestly I’d much rather have seen what it was like to push a 9lb baby out and tare than to have what I went through happen. I still cry over it, I still get angry, and I just hope someday I can truly look back and say what’s done is done.

5/30: Happiness

5/30: What Are The Five Things That Make You Most Happy Right Now?

1. My religion. Without it I'd be not who I am today. It molds and constructs me every day into a better person and a happier person. I can't imagine what kind of turmoil and chaos I'd be living without it. And I have to believe that without this structure, security, and knowledge I have I'd be a miserable heap of nothingness. 

2. My family. All who fall under this category make me a happier person today. I love them all and can't imagine my life without them. But more-so the two components of this word that truly make my world spin and continually place a smile upon my face. My two main men. They brighten my life and make us a family. I'd give my own life for either of them. 

3. My wee man. Yes, he takes up a whole number on the consistency which makes me happy. He is my world. Without him I don't think happiness could even exist in my life. Not a day goes by that he doesn't make me happy and smile. 

4. Music. Whenever I'm feeling un-motivated, down, or just feeling out of it I can always put music on and instantly feel better. There is just something about your favorite tunes and how much they can lift your spirits. I LOVE putting music on and just simply singing along. It helps me feel better and it makes this not so pleasant world at times seem just a little better. 

5. Trips. Whether for the day, the week, or just a few hours I love going places. I love being out and enjoying the scenery. And you'd guess it...those trips always include my two main men. Whether it's to the mall, a park, across the states I love going places with them. I love the excitement and anticipation that comes with planning, preparing, and going some place.