I'm...

This weeks been a real kick in the pants for me for multiple reasons...But here's a comprisement of my thoughts this week...

I'm going to do this! I can do this! I NEED to do this!
Ugh I will NEVER have anymore kids! This ones too much!
Poor baby...I just wish I knew what was wrong with him...
Oh my lanta no more babies! Gaaaa!
He's so precious...I can't wait to have more. I'm like an addict!
Think pink think pink daddy! We want a baby sister! (No we're not trying but I'm already going through spurts of wanting another)
What's wrong with him!?
Oh look...He pooped! Yay!
Noooo moooore kids! He's so frustrating!
Ugh, I'm so fat! I'll never get this weight off!
I wish I had a gym right in my livingroom...Then I could do this.
How on earth am I ever going to get this weight off...
I'm so un-attractive...How can my husband even stand me?
If I could just get this weight off I'd never put it on again...EVER.
Soooooo fat....Bleh!
I wish I had a partner who was in this with me...
I wish I had a husband who wanted to lose weight...
I wish I had a gym I could go to.
How on earth will I ever get this weight off when life's just going to get more and more hectic?
I wish I had someone to motivate me and do this with me...
How am I ever going to lose this weight.
I'm going to workout...But I doubt it'll make a difference.
This is hard...What if I slide back down and fail?

Okay...That's a compilement of my week...And it's only Thursday. I've been really struggling this week with food and exercising and just feeling FAT. I feel so incredibly disgusting and tell Robby frequently I don't know how he can even stand to be around me or be attracted to me. I'm just plain gross....Bless the man for loving me and wanting to be with me even at my worst...My bodies been through so much and has so many scars to bear that standing in front of the mirror (naked) is hard...There's just SO much not going for me. It's been a frustrating week feeling alone in this journey as well...Robby's busy and so he's head is certainly not in the weight loss game. I just feel frustrated and alone. Having a fussy baby all week hasn't helped my case either. He's been having tummy issues so we're trying to work those out. Hopefully we'll all have a better weekend and next week. Hopefully by then I'll get out of my funk before I pack on the 10 pounds I worked so hard to lose...Here's lookin' to better times!

Also...Last night as I rocked my sweet baby before bed; he cuddled snuggly in my arms with his little legs wrapped around my round tummy (it makes for a great cushion to set him on) I just reflected on being a mom.

I NEVER envisioned it being so hard!
I NEVER envisioned it being so rewarding!
I NEVER envisioned myself loving someone as much as I do. He is my heart and soul, he is my everything!
I NEVER envisioned this being so trying and difficult! I knew it'd be hard...I knew I wouldn't get sleep or, whatever...But I NEVER knew how much time and frustration would go into being a mom.
I NEVER envisioned feeling more proud and happy to be someone's momma.
I NEVER envisioned one little smile bringing so much joy to my life. 

Being a mom has been a huge reality check for me. Until you're a mom you just can't even IMAGINE how hard and difficult it'll be at times. You also can't imagine how wonderful, blissful, and rewarding it will be also. I'm so grateful for my little man and all the tears, laughter, joy, and love he brings into our home. Oh how I love that sweet baby boy!

My world.

Bebe's Room

So one of my projects for the past month or so has been trying to get baby Robby's room put together. The poor thing hasn't officially had a cute little nursery or room since he was born, and I still had that desire/wanted to decorate his room! I tossed around the idea of making it more like a little boys room and less like a nursery (since he is 8 months old for crying out loud) but I just couldn't resist making it all cutsie! I'm pretty much obsessed with jungle theme and so that's what I went for with his room. I'm still not total done and haven't put this project to rest. But over-all it's pretty much complete. I've still got a few wall projects I want to do and have to deal with a wide glaring blank wall, but for the most part here it is!

One of the 1st things I made was his name sign, I love it.

One wall of his room....I also made his curtains as well which I love!

The goofy lamp I covered and put the material on up-side down! I may be re-covering this bad boy...

Another wall of his room.

And another wall...

I LOVE these little canvas pictures I made! I just wish I could've gotten canvas' a little larger than 8 x 8.

And this glaring huge blank wall....I'm thinking a shelf or some toy storage along it? I've got some ideas but it requires spending more of Robby's hard earned money and I think he's about sick of me investing money into this room ;)

So that's it! Over-all I'm so pleased with his room. There's still alot of white space and I think having tile in the room doesn't help...IF we stay I think I'll be looking for a cute area rug to go in there as well. I'm thinking of making a hanging diaper holder as well, and of course my few extra wall projects. Looking at his room over-all it deff. needs some more jungle theme to it, so I think I'll be tieing the same little animal shapes I used on the canvas onto other aspects of his room. I didn't want to go too over-board and wanted to keep it fairly clean and simple so I'll call it quits...For now ;)

Burn Baby Burn

So like WAY back in May you might recall me writing a post about losing weight yatta yatta? Well almost 2 months later I've FINALLY got the first 10 pounds off...Well 11 pounds if we're getting technical. And I told myself with every 10 pound mark I'd write a post and take pictures. I really didn't think my pictures would look any different because in all actuality I have SO far to go (we're talking pre-wedding weight/size) that 10 pounds doesn't seem that great and I still feel fat yatta yatta. But I took the pictures anyway because it's still 10 pounds off! It's kind of bitter sweet for me because it's 10 pounds I worked off but I still have so far to go that it seems minuscule in the big scheme of things. But never-the-less here's the results!

Before

After

 Once I started looking I could see little changes here and there. My belly's not as crazy and my butt's not quite as bubbled at the top. I'm thinking another 10 pounds and some changes will REALLY be noticeable, I'm excited!

Before

After

Before

After

These last 2 are prolly my favorite, because you can just tell I'm not quite as rolly-polly as I was. It's very gratifying to see the little changes because going through this day by day I don't think anything has changed! But it's actually working! What's been working for me (And would work fabulously if I'd keep my head in the game ALL the time) is just cutting down my starches and watching the sugar and sweets! That's it really! I'm not a big sugary drink or soda person so that's not a problem it's just the major sweet tooth and carb lover that's the problem! So keeping my starches in check (like MAYBE 2 servings but let's not get crazy here) and practically no sweets has really done it for me. Work-outs have been the real struggle with a little one because lets face it...The last thing I really wanna do once he goes down for a nap is workout...I'd rather watch some trashy TV or get on Pinterest. But I've been trying! And hopefully I'll start getting better as I get more and more motivated to lose the weight. 20 pounds off here I come!

20 pounds lost, here I come!