Fast forward about a month ahead and here I am with a new baby. I think when you've never had a child you can't truly prepare for what to expect. I never knew something so small and precious would consume SO much of my life! I found it harder and harder to keep up on those pesky dishes that kept piling up, that laundry that called my name, my eyebrows that screamed for some TLC, and practically every inch of my living space that ached for cleaning and rehabilitation. I felt myself slowly being consumed and stressed over the condition of my apartment and feeling like I needed to do it all. I needed to take care of my baby (who hallered anytime within a 24/7 span no breaks!), try to take care of myself (who was healing from an infected c-section) and keep the apartment in order. There came a breaking point when I finally realized it wasn't all going to happen. My baby wasn't going to sleep through the night so I could get adequate rest, he wasn't going to be good during the day so I could work-out or do a load of dishes, and that layer of dust was just going to have to keep me company a little while longer. My life as I knew it had changed, and I was finally acknowledging that everything wasn't going to be perfect.
The bed wasn't going to get made every morning...
The dishes? Yah...They might just have to wait another day before they get some attention, because I've got a little man who needs some loves and cuddles.
That pesky "To Do" list that keeps piling up is just going to have to keep piling up...Perhaps one day we'll cross it all off...
And most days I'm going to be in a ratty t-shirt with my hair pulled up...
But there's one little boy who's worth all the clutter and chaos. There's one little boy who doesn't care if his mommy's all made up or still in her pj's at 4PM; he's going to greet her with a smile either way. Even if nothing else gets done in the day I still have one happy, fat, and loved little man!
My expectations have certainly been altered in the last 2 months, but I think that's part of what I'm being taught. I'm being taught what matters most and what should be my priority above all. So what if it takes me an extra few weeks to lose weight, the dishes are dirty, and the laundries piling up...
He's so worth it. <3
Motherhood in general is a slow sacrificing of self for the greater good. You will lay many more of your wants and needs here on the altar of sacrifice. And as you struggle to pull yourself up from the chaos around you and start to balance all those spinning plates, #2 comes along, an you have to get more efficient because now you're doin it all - but this time with a toddler, and on & on. Will you EVER sleep? Yes. Are there more poopy diapers than nights on the town? Yes. Will you develop a deeper lOve & respect for your mom? Yes. Is this gig for sissies? No Ma'am. You will become more mentally tough than a prized fighter in the 8th round. All I can say is, get a good coach. A mom with 4+ kids has usually learned a few tricks for getting off the ropes
ReplyDeleteBritt- oh my how I can relate! I have to keep a clean house to stay sane! Here is what I do. This is an example of this morning...I got up at 6:00am, got Alaina and Milloy ready for school and on the bus. Got Sirena fed and Leona up and fed. I then did the morning dishes and picked up the little messes from the morning. Then I fed Leona again and got her set up in the swing and mopped the wood & tile floors. Now I'm taking a break and then I will feed Leona again and hop in the shower....hopefully. My best advice is to "put your house to bed before you go to bed." that is advice from my mother. She Sid if you pick up, do the dishes, etc...the night before, you'll wake up feeling so much better. Then the day before doesn't drag into the next day. Good luck and know that there are other clean freak moms with you! I sure love you!
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