2/30: Legitimate Fears

2:30: 3 Legitimate Fears and How They Became Fears

1. Fear: Divorce. I know that seems terribly terribly depressing and morbid to think about, but it's a genuine fear I have! Anytime my husband and I get into a pretty heated argument or things just seem REALLY off between us I start to think this is it or this is the end. I'm a bit dramatic and I don't think things are really as bad as I play them out in my mind...But I can't help it!

WHY: As sad as this sounds I think it comes from viewing couples within my own sphere of life. I've seen relationships dwindle and vapor into nothing and even such the greatest of loves and relationships come down to nothing. It scares me, because there's a lot that tests a relationship and it's not that I'm setting us up for failure, it's more so I'm afraid to ever LOSE my husband. I love him too much for things to end. But it is a legitimate fear and perhaps I just need that use that fear to fuel me in the other direction. 

Marriage = Something worth fixing

2. Now that we got that out of the way...Prepare to smile, laugh, and even mock me. But I am deathly afraid of...Costume characters. You know the ones at amusement parks such a Disneyland all dressed up and kids love to hug them and take pictures with them? Ah, freak no. Those things terrify me and there's just something about them that makes me un-easy. You can't trust them because you can't see WHO they are. 

When I see this picture I think RUN KID RUN!! She is just straight up risking it all right there...Do you see that face on Woody? Does that look like a friendly face to you!? No! It looks shady...and unfamiliar and just plain sketchy. I don't trust them...They're creepy to beat all.

Now Cinderella? She be aight. At least I can see the persons EYES and FACE. I'm not just staring into some frozen molded fake face wondering if the person behind it is demented. Me and the characters where you can see the real person...We're tight, we be aight. 

 WHY:  I think it all stems back to when I was a kid...There's this place called "HomeTown Buffet" and if the name didn't give you a clue it's a buffet. We use to go there all the time as a family when I was a kid...The only problem? They've got one of those CHARACTERS. And it's not a friendly real person type character. It was a bee...

Oh my gosh no...just...NO!!!  

So you and your family would be sitting down to a delicious buffet meal and then this guy is creepin' through the eating area thinking he's going to brighten your child's day. Ugh...negative. I would crawl under the table and hide until he was gone. And one time...HE SQUATTED DOWN TO FIND ME!! I'm pretty sure that's where that fear came from...And to fuel it further I went to Six Flags once and had one of those creepers chase me! Bah. 

3. Alright now that I've made a complete fool of myself and you're laughing at my expense it's time to take it back down a notch. I don't know why my fears centralize around losing people...But my last fear is being afraid my husband or son will stop breathing while sleeping. I had this fear even before we had wee man. I would wake up in the night sometimes and my husband would be breathing so softly that I'd have to put my fingers under his nose or sit up so I could look to see if his chest was moving up and down. When we had our son it just made that fear even more escalated because that legitimately DOES happen to babies. Crikey nothing like feeding a fear more fuel! When wee man was a newborn and slept in our room I could hardly sleep all night because I'd be listening to see if he was breathing. On more than one occasion I'd get up and stare at his little chest or gently poke him to get a reaction. 

WHY: I'm not really sure...Just a general fear of losing either of them and then all the fears media, articles, guidelines, and classes sink into you about babies just dieing from not being able to breathe. Makes someone like me just a hot mess. 

Tomorrow's post: Describe your relationship with your parents