3/30: Describe Your Relationship with Your Parents

3/30: Your Relationship with Your Parents

I'm not gonna lie or sugar coat this when I say that when I saw what day 3 post was I cringed and dreaded having to write it. I know that sounds awful, but my relationship with my parents is rough, at least with one of them it is. 

My parents. The people who made me who I am. The people I owe everything to.

So lets talk about my dad...that's where things get tricky and a lot of people don't know much about him; I don't even know much about him. I've never really had a great relationship with my dad, and I've seen friends lose their dad's, some had amazing relationships with their dads and it always made me wonder "why do I still have my dad when so many have such a deep and connected relationship with theirs?" Others I've seen lose their dad and for years have felt the regret, pain, and resentment of never having that daddy/daughter relationship that so many people get to experience. Dad's aren't like mom's I've come to observe, but if you have a dad who is willing to spend time to you and talk to you PLEASE do it for all of us out there who don't talk to our dads and don't have much of any kind of relationship. 

If we're going to get real raw here I often think about the day my dad passes and if I had one tribute or thing to say I would play a song by Reba Mcentire called "The Greatest Man I Never Knew". To this day when I listen to that song it makes me think of how strong of a man my dad is, how much he's faced, endured, and how incredibly just smart and crafted he is, and yet never have we spent a Saturday afternoon talking or him showing me how to change oil in the car. I respect him so very much and am so grateful for all the years he spent working hard to provide for us in the home, but that's as far as it goes. I respect him and I love him, but I don't know him. So many chances we've missed out on to be together and have that daddy/daughter relationship. I know not what that's like and I'm afraid I never will.

It's hard to have a parent and not know if it's you that's the problem or if it's him. I still question to this day if he loves me or not and I always tell my mom I'm convinced he doesn't love me...But she re-assures me that he loves me as his daughter. I just wish I was a daddy's girl.

There is a happy note to this blog and that is for sure 100% of the way my mom. Just sitting here thinking about her makes me tear up. She's my rock. My husband's my rock, but dang...Your mama is your mama through and through. I can't even begin to describe my relationship with my mom because it's been so many places and it's grown in so many directions over the years. She truly made me into the person I am today. I wasn't always the easiest teenager to work with and I thank God even today for the strict hand she had on me. She kept me from making a lot of foolish mistakes and I'm grateful she didn't just let me be wild and reckless like so many of my friends parents did. She kept me level-headed most of the time and gosh I'm just so grateful for her parenting. She is a prime example of being a parents first and friend second. She was my parent for so many years and now I consider her a friend. It's a close 1st between her and my husband but my husband IS my eternal companion and soul mate, so mama can have 2nd. 

 

I swear there could not be a kid out there that loves their mama more than I do. She's such an inspiration to me of the kind of person I want to grow up to be. When I grow up...I wanna be just like my mama. She's SUCH a giving and selfless person. Nothing is ever about her especially when she comes to her kids; she loves us with everything in her. I've learned so many lessons from her and how to not and how to live my life. There is not a single day that goes by that I do not talk to my mom. We text each other good morning and good night and pretty much everything that goes on through out the day is exchanged through texts. She's always the person I turn to for guidance or advice. She is incredible. 

 

She's been with me through the good, the bad, and the heartbreaking and she's deff taught me how to be bold and have fun. She's crazy, beautiful, strong, smart, and I can only pray I get half the qualities she possesses. Did I mention how much I LOVE watching her be a grandma? It's amazing how much she loves wee man and adores him. I love watching them together and I love that she loves him. I LOVE my mama and can't even fill this blog with enough words of how I feel about her. But I think this is an adequate post.